#putitinmyMIND : Body Image and How We See Ourselves
For as long as I can remember of my adolescent years, the way I would look at and perceive my body really forced me to give my head a shake. Finally after many years of self-hate, in my 37th year of existence, I have grown better at accepting my body and learning to love the skin I am in. I can’t help but recollect the times when I was unnecessarily mean and cruel to myself and shake my head.
If I have one regret in my life, it is that I didn’t love myself enough, nor did I allow myself to have patience for myself in the past.RACHEL BLAQ
When I was 18, I thought my tummy was flabby – I look back now and it was flat – I’d kill for that body now. In my 20s, I was never happy, my arms were too big, and I didn’t like my complexion, again I look back now and think, man oh man was I distorted. It was the same story over and over again in my mid 20s, and early 30s until recently when I started learning to love myself.
As women our bodies change, I have grown in and out of clothes over the years as most of us do. I’ve bought new outfits that fit better and accentuate my body, while still holding on to outfits from decades ago and betting myself up that they don’t fit. There were times when I look at old photos and I remember hating the skin I was in. When I come across those same pictures now, I see how beautiful I was in them. If only I had stopped and taken a moment to appreciate my skin, my body, and my mind to give myself more credit.
Deep inside we all have an inner child, when you’re mean to yourself now, you’re also being mean to them. Stop. Give yourself patience, give yourself love. One thing suggested to me in my own therapy sessions was to find a picture of myself when I was a small child. I was instructed to pick it up, tell myself “I love you unconditionally” sit with that feeling, and breathe into it. Would you say the negative things you tell yourself to that child? No, you wouldn’t, take time to be kind to your inner child and remind yourself that you are beautiful.
MORE #PROSTIPS FOR LOVING YOURSELF
DO IT & LIVE IT UP
- Sing ~ One of the best ways to fight off depression and anxiety is to sing out loud. Whether you do it with someone or you do it by yourself, singing to your favourite music is a huge #prosHEALTH benefit. read more…
- Exercise ~ You have heard it before, I know that I am not telling you anything you don’t already know deep down inside… natural drugs are the shit! The benefits of a regular workout regime are plenty, including your clothes fit better, your brain working better, and all that dopamine pumping through your body – it’s a trip. I know it can be hard to get started, but trust me once you do, you will be yearning for those hot and sweaty gym dates. read more…
- Therapy ~ One of our PROS in the YYJ is the one and only Rosie Bitts. She has entertained and enlightened our local community for many years as a burlesque queen, sex educator, and self-love guru. I highly recommend you connect with a therapist if at all possible, but understand the frustrating waitlists and that it is also cost prohibitive. How about starting with a FREE online course that will get you to start Loving your Jiggly bits? Will you invest in yourself and take the time to learn how to fall in love with yourself? read more…
BE KIND TO YOURSELF & OTHERS
It sounds bad, but sometimes it takes being around others less fortunate than ourselves to put things in perspective. Rather than spending energy hating yourself, why not flip the script and focus on loving others? There are so many wonderful sex worker organizations and other community outreach centers that could use all those outdated outfits at the back of your closet that trigger negative feelings.
Listen to this advice that has served me well, from my own extensive therapy. You don’t need to be perfect. Stop comparing yourself to others, and call yourself out when you do. If you catch yourself being self-derogatory, even in joking form – catch yourself and STOP. Now think of 3 nice things you can say about yourself. Those eyes, that sense of humor, your achievements? Give yourself a little pep talk about the pro things about yourself, and counter that negative thought process at the moment it happens.
TREAT YOUR ASS
That’s right, loving yourself is hard work, and you deserve a treat! One of my favorite self-indulgences is a pedicure. For me, nothing feels better than someone giving my high heal loving feet a little reprieve. To be fair I have embraced spa life for many years as a way to treat myself, pick myself up, or just recharge. Whether it be a delicious treat you say #putitinmyMOUTH to, or a shopping spree at your favorite #putitinmyBAG location, even if it’s focusing on other #prosHEALTH self-care, make time to treat your ass right. My own #prosLIST for Vancouver, BC is Willow Steam Spa check out my review on PROS.BUZZ